How could I forget to bring the bags or did I bring enough stuff to last a few hours in the hospital. But first let’s start earlier that evening. In my mind there isn’t anything that can prepare for child birth. Honestly, I barely had anything ready. So I started packing up a few things up quickly. The two things I thought I needed, my iPad and my book. I really thought this experience would be beautiful and just like you would see on TV. She yelled from the top of the stairs on all fours “We need to go now.” I’m running and chucking shit into our car. I’m thinking in my head “Is this really happening?” My wife barely waddled to car.
The closer we got to the hospital, my wife was trying to find calming routine while having contractions. So I thought the bright idea of turning on some Mike Stud, and of course I am singing along. Wrong idea, the ole pregnant lady wasn’t having any of it. As we pulled into the parking lot everything started to become a reality. I’m going to be dad. I wasn’t prepared.
We walked to check-in station. The nurse took my wife in, and left in waiting room. There I was alone. After 30 minutes I walked up to the desk and asked simply “Can I see my wife?” The nurse replied “Oh we forgot all about you.” Well that was weird. I barely got into see my wife before shit started to get intense. I remembered I have to grab bags. I told the nurse about what I forgot. Running to the car I go. As I returned to the room, it became go time. We started on the way to the delivery room.
My wife legs in stirrups. I felt useless. I became the best cheerleader and water boy I could be. Just trying to calm my wife down through the contractions. “Push, push and breath” The nurse said calmly and cool. I was like “oh yeah, this is what they play for.” Fighting, being a coach, and fetching anything my wife needs, the end was near. “I can’t do this, I just a little break” my wife said. All of the sudden my child’s head appeared. I was getting pumped and emotional. I became overloaded with happiness and was fighting back tears. Doctor said “Dad look, it’s a?” “It’s a girl!” I yelled. But that yell wasn’t heard by anyone. Well, because I thought it. Again I said “it’s a girl.” It came out so depressing. I was so pumped that I had just became a dad to a little girl. But let’s be honest, I really wanted a boy.
This little creature, with the softest blue eyes, gazed upon mom and dad “like whom the fuck are you, and why is it so cold.” It was the greatest moment in my life. No really it was. Then my mind wandered “how are you going to do this.” At the time we had no money, just barely getting by. The thing was though; a family’s love is one of the most powerful things. So, I’d say the struggle can suck, but all it takes is one beautiful miracle.
Keep on Keeping on