Lessons from Moana

Parenthood is full of lessons. Every day I discover something new about myself. Between early mornings and late nights, seems like I’m stumbling along the way. Frustration is a normal with everything changing. Moana has given me a few life lessons, which I seem to put into my life.

  1. Who are you?

Moana is asking herself who she is meant be. In a way I’m searching for this new dude. As father, I’m simply confused with the lifestyle changes. Watching your kid grow up is a major change to your life. You become more emotional and asking yourself where the time went. Two months, she is barely rolling over and now she is almost crawling. With all that you are changing too. Running on very little sleep, asking yourself how much coffee is left in pot, and when can I shit in peace. Your body could be changing too. Gaining a few pounds or even losing a few pounds. Financial stress could be happening at your household. Either way you look at it, you’re asking yourself “Who have I become”


  1. Learning something new.

In the movie, Moana must learn to sail. As she starts to sail, she makes mistakes and stumbles along the way. That’s been my whole experience as a parent. Getting my finger covered in poop, guessing bottle measurements, and trying adjust my lifestyle to their routine. Moana meets Maui who teaches her how to sail.  My teacher was my mother, I have seven sisters. So I learned a lot already. But it’s different when it’s your own child. The only things I can say is keep on learning.


  1. Positive attitude.

At the worst of times you need to have a great attitude, even when things start to go bad. I get it; the kid could be cranky when driving somewhere. Take a breather, and relax. Nothing is going to get better if you have a shitty attitude; it’s going to get worse. You’ll most likely just get more frustrated and in turn so will they. I have done that to myself. It’s the worst feeling, I just felt defeated. Not because I was mad, just because I gave into myself. Remember kids grow and can be a pain in your ass. Be happy. And your welcome.

Parenting can be tough. But so is life. It sucks. The strange thing is that it only gets better, I promise that it will. The next time you are watching your kid’s favorite movie or show. Please and try to take a lesson away from it. Unless it’s Caliou, fuck that kid.  Otherwise turn on your favorite movie when the kid falls asleep.  After all, happiness is always key.

Keep on Keeping on


Five simple rules! To Dating.

Follow the following or find your way out. 

1. Be polite! When you show up at my house. Approach my door, and a simple knock will do. Don’t fucking touch door bell. Im most likely going to take my sweet ass time getting to your nonsense of dating my daughter. No fucking honking the horn and waiting in your car. Don’t be surprised when you answer the door, and it becomes a scene from bad boys 2. “Mouth fucker, you look thirty” 

2. Hand shakes. You will shake my hand. Has be to firm, if it’s a limp fish, leave my house and lose my daughters number. If it’s too firm, and trying to out-alpha me in my own bear den, you’re going to have a bad time. Remember in the simple words of South Parks ” He should have pizza’d instead of French Frying.

3. What’s your plan. I’ll need a detailed plan of your night. Know where, and when. You’re not Michael Jordan, you’re not going to score on your debut night. Be aware, whatever you do to my daughter, I will do to you. 

4. Dress nice. If your wearing sunglasses that cost more than your watch we’ve got a problem. Please do not take the French shower, I don’t need my house smelling like Axe fragrance. Lastly wear a belt, I don’t need to know what brand of boxers you wear. 

5. Don’t. Probably for the best if you just cut your losses and just moved on to the next girl as you’ll never be good enough for my angel. It’ll be better if you just showed up to the house and noticed that I couldn’t care less about you.